Meet the new Amazon, just like the old Amazon

Today, Amazon with exclusive affiliate partner iPrice Singapore premieres the first screenshots of the all new and exciting online shopping platform: Amazon.sg and Amazon.my. Slated to be launched late 2017, millions of local and international products will be made available to Singaporeans and Malaysians with same-day delivery service throughout the city-state and country. 

The new sites are unique in that they offer absolutely nothing of value. They have been created with the aim of padding Amazon’s online footprint and ghosting customers.

Maintaining the ethos of Amazon, the new e-commerce platform will be guided by four principles: customer obsession rather than competitor focus, passion for invention, commitment to operational excellence, and long-term thinking. 

Partnering Amazon in this new endeavour is iPrice, a meta-search website in seven major countries in Southeast Asia as Amazon’s prime affiliate partner.

Amazon's page for Singapore dummies.
Amazon's page for Singapore dummies. Photo courtesy: Duh! Media

With Amazon’s Singapore exclusive MerlionEcho™ powered by Alexa, Singaporeans will soon have the power to shop millions of products and with same-day delivery service. Compatible with standard English (UK & US versions) and Singlish, Singaporeans Amazon makes it easy to get what they need right away through Amazon.sg without taking out a phone or logging into a computer. Just say “Alexa, I wan one Marmite from Amazon ah” and even determine delivery locations with your pre-set destinations by saying “deliver all items to ah boy’s place tomorrow ah”.

A redundant product for the new state of Malaysia.
A redundant product for the new state of Malaysia. Photo courtesy: Say it ain't so

With Amazon.my, Malaysians will soon have the power to purchase millions of local and international products and have it delivered within the same day. Local businesses signing up with Amazon as a partner merchant can easily leverage Amazon’s platform and reach to a wider audience.

Among the first special merchants is self-proclaimed Raja Bomoh Sedunia Nujum VIP premiering the popular device named Bomoh Search Engine, Full Set. The product set is made exclusively for Malaysians and includes a pair of fresh coconuts, a pair of the “All Seeing Stick”, a wooden basket and a magic carpet. Made in Malaysia, the Bomoh Search Engine is compatible to traditional Bomoh spells and Harry Potter spells.  

(This article's sources exist in the imagination of the writer who, to be technical, is a figment of imagination as well. The story above is to be taken with a pinch of salt. Connected to India does not vouch for its veracity and any resemblance to real people and events is strictly coincidental.)

Author
Ap Rill-Phul
Ap Rill-Phul – Senior Writer

Ap is the greatest journalist/hacktivist/blogger/social media star/Trump troller of all time. Very little is known about Rill-Phul, who takes privacy seriously. The one indisputable fact we know is that Ap surfaces but once a year, and upsets the natural world order each time.

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